Re-thinking church…
I believe so much that God intended church to be a transforming agent in the world. So much of church (myself included), however, is so stuck on themselves that they are unable to see the world outside. I must admit that my view of pastoral ministry has always been to take good care of the church folks who are heaven bound. This view has been affirmed and reaffirmed by my training, senior leaders, and other pastors that I have seen. And then one day… one season… pondering the growing discontent within… wondering what in the world is wrong with me… with the world… with the church… I realized that I had missed the obvious. As traditions and expectations carried me along this journey called ministry, in my futile attempt to fit in, live up to, and press forward, I have missed the obvious. I was running a race never intended for me by God. My narrow thinking informed by tradition, expectations, and culture had demanded that I run this race.
I was at the mall yesterday, just roaming around until my daughter fell asleep in her strolling and until my wife finished her Black Friday shopping with my son. I came across this really cool clothing store called “C28″ (www.c28.com). The image that captured my attention was one of the clerk praying for a customer smack in the middle of the store. I had to take a double-take. It was obvious that making a sell was not his priority. I took a panoramic view of the store full of Christian graphic T-shirts and such which made me aware of their target age group, and then I saw that age group dispersed throughout the store, many of them either in conversation about their faith or in fervent prayer with one of the clerks, very few intending to make a purchase. I went in and felt the pleasure of God! With each step, I felt infused with supernatural energy that begin to impassion my inner man. I could not help but to adhere to a voice within that whispered “This is church!”
What is church???
I am at church right now. There are people just few steps away from where I am sitting who are frantically preparing to have church tomorrow. Praise team is practicing their five songs during the service making sure that transition is smooth musically and thematically. Our secretary is trying to get the bulletin ready so that people doing church can know what goes on in the church. Pastors (myself included) are preparing for their rhetoric for tomorrow so that people coming to church may leave church with some words of encouragement.
What is church??? Which church am I supposed to pastor??? This is an ongoing dialog that I am having with myself.
To be honest and transparent, I am reacting to a complaint that couple of the church folks made about my neglect of the people in the church, that is to say, their own kids and husbands. I could have given so much data that would prove otherwise, but it really does not matter, because in a way, they are right. I did not and do not want to expend my energy on people who do not want to be here. I am more concerned about people that want to be here and how I can get them to not be here and be present… really present… heart and soul present… in the malls… businesses… workplaces… coffee shops.. flea (black) markets… gas stations… frozen yogurt stores (?)… neighborhoods… homes…
Which church am I supposed to pastor? This is an ongoing dialog within…
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